Learn about Venus Retrograde's impact on love, the return of exes, and how to navigate this period for personal growth and relationship clarity.
By Doctor Bula Moyo Love Spiritualist | 🌙 Let's Chat now on WhatsApp✅
Every 18 months, the planet of love, beauty, and money appears to move backward across the sky. In astrology, this is known as Venus Retrograde. While Mercury Retrograde is famous for breaking phones and causing travel delays, Venus Retrograde strikes somewhere much more sensitive: the heart.
When Venus goes retrograde, the universe hits the "pause" button on your romantic future and forces you to look at your romantic past. It is a period of deep reflection, karmic re-balancing, and, most famously, the unexpected return of "the ones that got away."
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Venus rules how we value ourselves and how we relate to others. When she "retreats," our external romantic drive turns inward.
The most common hallmark of this period is the "ghost" from your past appearing in your inbox or your dreams. This isn't necessarily a sign that you should get back together. Instead, it is a Karmic Audit. The universe is asking: Have you actually learned the lesson this person taught you, or are you still susceptible to the same old patterns?
You may suddenly feel dissatisfied with a relationship that seemed "fine" a month ago. Venus Retrograde strips away the "honeymoon" filters, allowing you to see if your needs are actually being met or if you’ve been settling for less than you deserve.
Because Venus also rules beauty, this is a notoriously bad time for major physical changes (like a dramatic haircut or plastic surgery) or big romantic investments. You are likely to "wake up" once Venus goes direct and wonder what you were thinking.
To navigate this 40-day period without unnecessary heartbreak, follow these spiritual guidelines:
| Feature | DO | DON'T |
| New Relationships | Take it very slow. Focus on friendship first. | Get engaged, move in together, or say "I love you" for the first time. |
| Old Flames | Listen to what they have to say. Seek closure. | Jump back into bed or sign a lease with an ex. |
| Current Partners | Revisit old issues and heal them once and for all. | Break up impulsively over a minor argument. |
| Self-Care | Invest in internal healing and shadow work. | Make permanent changes to your appearance. |
If an ex reappears during Venus Retrograde, ask yourself these three questions before responding:
Is this a "Comfort" or a "Connection"? Am I reaching back because I'm lonely, or because we've both truly grown?
What has changed? If the reasons for the original breakup haven't been resolved, the retrograde will simply repeat the cycle—only faster.
Is this for Closure? Often, the person returns so you can finally say the "Goodbye" you weren't strong enough to say the first time.
"Every single time Venus goes retrograde, my 'toxic' ex from college finds a way to message me. The first time, I fell for it and got hurt again. This last time, I realized I didn't even like him anymore—I was just addicted to the drama. The retrograde finally broke the spell."
— Nadine S., Johannesburg
"I met someone 'perfect' during Venus Retrograde. We moved so fast, talking about marriage in three weeks. As soon as Venus went direct, the spark just... vanished. It was like we were two different people. Now I know: never trust a retrograde romance until the shadow period is over!"
— Marcus L., Seattle
Venus goes retrograde roughly every 1.5 years for about 40 days. It is important to check an astrological calendar for the specific dates each year to prepare your heart.
It is rare, but possible. However, the relationship will likely be defined by "working through the past" or resolving karmic debts. It won't feel "easy" until the retrograde ends.
Don't panic! While it's not the "ideal" time, many happy couples have married during this transit. It simply means your marriage will have a strong focus on continual re-evaluation and internal growth.
During Venus Retrograde, sit in front of a mirror with a pink candle. Look into your own eyes and ask: "What part of my past am I still carrying in my present?" Write down the names of past lovers you haven't forgiven. Burn the list safely, releasing the energy back to the stars.
Is it love, or is it just heat? While Venus rules the heart, another planet rules the heat. When desire turns into drive, things get intense. Read our next post: Mars Energy & Passion in Love Spells